Sex With Your Ex: Why You Need To Think Twice

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Breakups happen for a variety of reasons, but that often doesn’t mean that passionate flame you once carried for your ex is gone. You might be tempted to see where those old passions could lead, especially if the sex had been good even if the relationship hadn’t. Last week we discussed whether or not you should respond to your ex’s texts or phone calls. But perhaps you’ve already responded, and now you’re considering taking things back to the bedroom. Before you do, you should take a moment to reflect on whether or not it’s a good idea.

Are you really missing him or are you just lonely? Do you hope that this time it’ll just be casual and no big deal? Although many women think, “I’m a modern woman and should be able to have casual sex without getting attached,” we’re built for attachment. Casual sex might not work for you. Being your own Brand of Sexy means doing what best for youemotionally, not your ex. It’s about taking control of your love life, demanding respect from men, and empowering yourself with the confidence to walk away from those who won’t respect your voice. It also means learning how to take things slow in a relationship, and that includes sex.

Maybe you’ve told yourself that you’ll take things slow with new relationships, but this is an ex. You already know each other, so why go slow? Why not just jump into bed? For the most part, we’re biologically hard-wired to have an emotional response to our partners after sex. This temptation is why it may be a good idea to stay away from your ex! Our bodies release oxytocin when we’re physically intimate, reinforcing those emotional bonds to our partner. Is your ex really someone with whom you want to rekindle those feelings?

Ask yourself these questions before you act:

  1. How will you feel if you have sex and he disappears? This is the time to be honest with yourself so you can protect your heart. Do you really think you’d be able to brush off any feelings of hurt if he never calls again? Read these three questions that every woman needs to ask herself before she even thinks of having sex.

Your ex is an ex for a reason. Whatever caused the relationship to fail in the first place will most likely rear its ugly head once more. You may be better off being alone for now than in a situation where you’re reliving old arguments and negative feelings again. A different and better future could remain just out of reach if you keep your focus on your ex instead of moving towards the man of your dreams.

Being your own Brand of Sexy is a way for you to empower yourself and will help you make new, healthier relationship choices that are ideal for you.

Modern dating isn’t working for so many women. Want to meet a nice man & learn the secrets to get dating to work for you? Take this quiz:

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