How to Know if a Man Can Commit

Dr. Susan Edelman
4 min readMay 4, 2019

Women believe that men aren’t looking for committed relationships these days, but that simply isn’t true. Yes, it is true that many men don’t want commitment or are players, but there are plenty of good men out there looking for committed, long-term relationships. You just have to know how to figure out if he’s one of those keepers and how to get him to commit to you. You can’t possibly get a man to commit to you if he doesn’t want one or isn’t capable of making one. So, how can you avoid time wasters and dead-ends? Your best bet for protecting your time and your heart is to know how to screen your dates for their ability to commit.

That doesn’t mean that you have to grill the poor guy with personal questions on your first few dates. To him, that will feel more like an interrogation than a pleasant encounter with an interesting woman. Interrogators don’t get second dates. Why sabotage your chances of getting to know him? What’s your hurry in getting these answers? As long as you’re protecting your heart, you can take your time.

The key to screening for commitment is to listen and pay attention to what he’s telling you. If you pay attention and listen carefully, people tell you who they are without you having to ask, or worse — grill.

Be honest with yourself and pay attention to any red or even pink flags that you hear about in your conversation. You may be tempted to overlook some things if you find him really interesting or attractive. But watching for the telltale signs that he can’t commit is one of the most important things you can do to avoid getting into a relationship with an unavailable man who will break your heart.

Look out for these waving red and pink flag warning signs:

1- He tells you he isn’t looking for marriage.

Listen to this warning. Men typically don’t lie about this. Many women will overlook this warning sign because they think that once a guy gets to know them, he’ll change his mind. That’s a huge risk you’re taking if you ignore this red flag. Don’t be tempted to think that he’ll change his mind once he gets to know you. He’s being honest upfront about what he wants or doesn’t want in a relationship.

2- He’s never committed. To anything.

Dr. Susan Edelman

Want to be one of the women over 40 who gets the kind of relationship she wants from a man? Find out your 7 Secret Advantages