How to Get the Relationship You Want: The 4 Best Secrets

Dr. Susan Edelman
5 min readDec 2, 2023

Do you ever wonder how some women get the relationship they want? What are they doing to make such a difference when others stay single or deal with frequent breakups?

It’s simple: they make good dating decisions.

A lot of women tend to blame their looks or confidence for their single status, but that’s the wrong approach. When you blame your looks or level of confidence, you can’t see the forest for the trees. Sure, keeping yourself up is important, but there are other, more important factors to consider that don’t have anything to do with skin-deep “beauty” or confidence.

Of course, if you are more confident, you might make better decisions. If you love yourself, you might be more likely to expect respect from others, but, if not, you can still find love and sustain a good relationship.

Women who get and keep the relationship they want are not necessarily super beautiful or confident. They have their insecurities like the rest of us.

To get the relationship you want, you need to spend time addressing the areas where you really need help. Women get the relationship they want when they make good dating decisions and focus on the following areas.

Here are the 4 secrets of women who have succeeded. Now, you too can get the relationship you want:

1- They interact well with men.

Ideally, you like men and are comfortable around them. If you are scared of men, afraid of rejection, or nervous for other reasons, it might interfere with your ability to enjoy their company and have fun with them. It can be very hard to flirt with a man if you are very nervous around him. Try to figure out what is making you anxious so you can both have more fun on your dates.

Most relationships work better when there is a good understanding of the other person’s point of view. When you take your time getting to know a new man, it helps you to protect your heart and pace the relationship. Don’t make the mistake of trying to make major compromises with a man too soon. It’s not necessary to make the relationship work before you know if it is going anywhere. Otherwise, you might look desperate or needy.



Dr. Susan Edelman

Want to be one of the women over 40 who gets the kind of relationship she wants from a man? Find out your 7 Secret Advantages