How to Find a Quality Man for a Healthy, Long-Term Relationship
Are you ready for love? Then you should be looking for a quality man. Anything less than that is a direct line to Heartache City. But it’s important to understand what a “quality man” really is.
A lot of women will dismiss a man for some of the most minor, insignificant reasons that really don’t hold much weight in the grand scheme of things. They lock onto these small things and never even give the guy a chance, even though if they’d look beyond the small annoyances the guy might actually turn out to be great. Soulmate material, even.
If you’re guilty of doing this, you may end up missing out on a really great guy. Maybe you don’t like that he doesn’t always act fast, or think he’s too shy. Or, maybe you don’t have the wild chemistry you’d normally expect. But are you giving him an honest shot and taking the time to know him before you give him the chop?
What You Should Be Looking for
Most women can live with a man who’s a little shy at first, but it’s almost impossible to be happy next to a guy who’s unstable, toxic, lies to you, or has all these big red flags. Still, a lot of women don’t prioritize honesty and stability over their first impression — that moment when you first meet in real life and you’re hit by instant chemistry.
But when you’re actually ready to find a quality man, honesty and stability are the traits that really matter, aren’t they? If you want something long term, to be happy and build a life with them, their character is the deciding factor in whether the relationship will last and you get a happily ever after.
So, if you’re ready for a long-term relationship, what should you be looking for? Here are a few qualities a great guy should have:
You want a guy who can keep his jobs and his relationships, who puts in the effort to make things work. Drifters don’t do that, instead, they flee at the first signs of trouble. And they usually don’t take any responsibility, either, since in their mind it’s always someone else’s fault.
The stable guy is cooperative, here to stay. Yes, he may be a bit more confrontational and bring up problems when they appear, but that’s just a way to open a conversation and try to resolve them, not accuse or attack. A man with a good relationship track record is worth paying attention to.
A quality man doesn’t lie to you. Perhaps you don’t always like it when he tells you like it is, but he doesn’t do it to be mean, harsh, or just for the hell of it. He wants you to get him, to understand what his problems are, and then to work together to fix and improve your relationship.
Because if he’s in it in the long run, he knows he can’t keep these thoughts to himself, just as you know you shouldn’t keep yours. He tells you the truth perhaps even to feel closer to you and connect and strengthen your bond.
Do you feel like your opinions are acknowledged like he truly listens to you? This is an amazing quality in a guy, one that women should never brush over. If he’s the kind of guy that always thinks he’s right, even to unreasonable extents, and completely ignores how you feel, that’s going to be a huge problem down the line.
Research by Dr.Gottman, a marriage researcher, and author of “Why Marriages Succeed or Fail: And How You Can Make Yours Last”, says that relationships are much more successful when the man is willing to accept the influence of the woman, and when the guy doesn’t behave like he’s always right.
A quality man will offer you his support no matter what you’re trying to do, break your personal weightlifting records, or start a new business. He wants you to follow your dreams just as much as you do, and see you happy, even if your plans don’t always align with his plans.
He may long for that picture-perfect wife that stays home with the kids, but if he knows your career is really important to you he’d never ask you to give it up. Instead, he’ll work with you to find another option that works for both of you.
5. Similar values
Research shows it’s easier for people to choose a partner who shares their values, as opposed to trying to change their minds. A lot of factors can keep marriages together, and strengthen the bond you have with your partner. For example, if the two of you have a similar style of communicating and solving conflict, disagreements can be easier on your relationship. If you want to discuss things and he wants to avoid them, that’s a big disconnect in your dynamic which may cause bigger problems later on.
Ready for Mr. Right?
It’s hard to realize you might need to change your approach when finding a good man, especially if it concerns habits that aren’t as easy to kick off. But sometimes, it’s necessary to find a guy that’s worth it.
Do you want to change your approach? What are the biggest qualities you look for in a guy? Let me know in the comments!