Have you ever been disappointed when the latest fashion trend just didn’t look all that good on you, but you made the purchase anyway? Maybe you bought low-rise jeans and had a muffin top, or the stiletto heels you bought made your feet hurt so badly you wanted to cry. OK, so maybe everything looks good on you and your feet don’t hurt, but frequent dieting is also a fashion trend! Chubby women used to be in style.
Why do we do things that don’t work for us?
Studies show that we’re influenced by others, and we’re often unaware of how much we’re influenced by them. After all, if all your friends buy platform heels, you might feel left out or uncool if you don’t have them. The media plays a big role in this, too. Magazines, TV shows, movies, and celebrities tell us what clothes to buy, and we do what they say, even if it’s unflattering, uncomfortable, painful, and will sit in our closet for years.
So maybe you’re thinking, “When are you going to get to the sex part, Dr. Susan?” Here’s the thing: Casual sex is also a trend, just like fashion. And casual sex doesn’t work for everyone, but many people go along with it anyway because they want to fit in. The media shows us people jumping in and out of bed, which makes it seem like casual sex is the normal thing to do. So you may feel like you’re going to miss out on a great guy if you don’t go for it, even if you’re not ready to get intimate or deep down you know that casual sex causes you heartache.
Going along with trends that don’t work for you simply won’t get you what you want from men.
Many women have casual sex because they aren’t sure how to say “no.” My new ebook, What to Say to Men on a Date: Be Your Own Brand of Sexy, can help. It includes a whole section on sex, which walks you through how to say “no” with confidence and without causing conflict. You’ll be able to pick the perfect response for you, from being serious to playful. This ebook also shows you what to say when asked common dating questions that sound simple, but are really loaded. Plus, it gives advice on how to handle men who are upset, unreasonable, or who aren’t treating you well. All the replies are designed to get you what you want.
When you can say “no” to trends that don’t work for you, you’ll not only save yourself from a lot of pain, but you’re much more likely to get what you want.
Start getting what you want from men. Be your own Brand of Sexy.
Originally published at https://beyourownbrandofsexy.com on September 8, 2016.