Hi Martin,

Thank you for your interesting comments.

The study that showed that more women initiate divorces is interesting in terms of answering your commitment question. In the non marital relationships studied, they did not find a significant difference between the men and women in terms of who initiated the breakup. The author of the study suggests that women might be more likely to initiate divorces because the married women reported less marital quality than the married men while both partners had similar levels of relationship quality in the non marital relationships. He wonders if it has to do with egalitarian relationships, where both partners experience the problems in their relationship. Clinically, couples therapists often notice a common dynamic where wives are unhappy in their marriage, but the husbands are only concerned because their wives aren’t happy. They’re OK with the relationship as it is. Nobody really knows what is causing the differences in women being more likely to initiate breakups in marriage. They will probably need to do more research.

I think the reasons a woman might want a divorce are likely more related to the problems in their relationship. How effectively do they communicate? Does her husband make an effort to understand her feelings? Is he willing to let her influence him? Are they willing to get help for their relationship problems if one or both aren’t happy? Women are more satisfied in their relationships when their partners make an effort to understand their negative feelings, even if these men aren’t accurate in their understanding. Better communication and getting help from an expert couples therapist can improve your relationship when it isn’t working.

Still, women can have commitment issues like men can. Other signs that women and men aren’t ready to commit are if they have had a number of short term relationships,if they aren’t over their ex, if they want to keep your relationship secret, or if they never talk about having a future with you.

Want to be one of the women who gets the kind of relationship she wants from a man? Just follow 5 simple guidelines. Take this quiz: http://bit.ly/2YqH

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store