Am I Ready for a Relationship or Just Lonely? How to Tell

She met Alex, who was friendly and fun to be around, but didn’t open up on deeper emotional levels. After a few weeks of casual dates, they slid into a relationship. Jessica liked having someone to do things with — movies, shows, weekend escapes from the city. But their conversations stayed at the surface level. Whenever she brought up more personal topics, Alex changed the subject or made a joke. The relationship was unsatisfying. Jessica often became sullen thinking about the lack of real intimacy. She considered asking Alex for more from the relationship. A part of her was tired of the constant emotional detachment between them. But whenever she considered being that vulnerable, her anxiety spiked. Jessica was deathly afraid of asking for more only to be rejected if Alex refused to deepen their intimacy. So, she stayed silent, convincing herself that keeping things surface level was better than losing him. Jessica clung to the safety of this arm’s length arrangement, even though she was disappointed. Gradually, Alex became more distant. He took longer to return Jessica’s texts, bailed on date nights, and stopped trying to make plans. When they did see each other, Alex seemed distracted and disengaged. The playful banter they once shared had faded away. Jessica confronted Alex about the change in his behavior. He insisted everything was fine but continued to pull away more and more until contact tapered off completely. The slow, painful unraveling of the relationship left Jessica questioning if Alex had ever cared. Once again, allowing someone close led only to hurt. She vowed to keep her heart locked away next time, certain that no relationship was better than false hope.

We’ve all been there — at the end of a relationship, feelings of loneliness inevitably set in. You miss companionship, physical intimacy, and having someone to share life’s ups and downs.

When this happens, it’s normal to consider jumping back into dating to fill that void. But how can you tell whether you’re truly ready for a healthy new relationship, or acting out of a place of desperation?

Here are a few key signs that you are just lonely, and it may be too soon for a relationship:

1- You’re not over your ex.