7 Tips for Overcoming a Fear of Rejection when Dating

Dr. Susan Edelman
5 min readMay 6

Human beings are built for connection. Our brains need consistent bonding and nurturing. Studies have shown that babies and children don’t thrive without contact and touch. So it’s no wonder that rejection can be a miserable experience.

Rejection appears to activate the same areas of the brain that are associated with physical pain. It may be experienced as painful because it’s by these common pathways.

It’s understandable that many of us dread and fear rejection, especially if you have experienced it frequently or in painful ways.

But a fear of rejection can also hold you back from trying to achieve your goals. If you’ve been rejected in love, you may fear getting close to a new partner, because you may feel vulnerable to getting rejected again. You don’t want it to interfere with dating or your next relationship, so it’s important to consider getting over your fear of rejection.

The good news is that it is possible to overcome it. And, there’s nothing special about you if you’ve been rejected. It happens to all of us. Rejection is a huge part of the dating process. There’s no escaping it. So, overcoming your fear of rejection will help make dating easier for you.

Here are 7 tips to work on getting over a fear of rejection:

1. Acknowledge your feelings.

There’s no avoiding the pain involved with rejection. Moving on from it requires beginning the grieving process. To do that, you must admit you’re in pain.

Others may tell you to get over it, but only you know how you truly feel.

2. Learn something from the experience.

Believe it or not, rejection can help you to grow and understand yourself better. Although it can be very painful, being rejected can help you to figure out whether you are doing something to sabotage your relationships such as pushing your partners away or choosing partners that aren’t right for you. You can emerge from this situation as a much better partner, and you can better understand the kind of partner you need to create a successful future relationship.

3. Be kind to yourself.

Dr. Susan Edelman

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